Tomorrow it begins.....

This time 23 years ago is was in EXACTLY the same position as my almost 18 year old daughter is today. She has just finished year 12 (hated school) although incredibly smart and capable she has not yet reached her full scholastic potential, and faced with the reality of not receiving a uni offer is wondering "what the hell do I do with my life now?"
I hope she can take some comfort in knowing that whilst I was there once, I have now finished my Medical degree and am about to start work as a doctor (and for the record....I still don't know what I want to do with my life either!)
There is so much going on in my head at the moment, in an effort to get some sleep at night and to not drive my wonderfully patient manfriend away with my constant need to talk about EVERYTHING , I have decided to write it all down.
I am not a writer, don't expect greatness.
I am nervous about starting tomorrow, even though I know it will be all paperwork and admin, in fact all of orientation week will be much of the same.
But it is all new.....a new hospital, new people, new routines, a new role.
I no longer have the safety net of being a medical student and not actually being responsible.
I no longer have the confidence and self assuredness of being an excellent nurse with 20 years experience; I am a minion and a sponge.
I don't feel like I have learnt anything at medical school and am certainly not prepared to be signing my name to a script or a X-ray order and god help me if I am the first person at an arrest (first rule in any emergency- check your own pulse) and I am terrified I might actually kill someone.  I am however, willing to follow the advice of someone I admire and respect  which is "just try not to suck at being an intern" I hope I can do him and myself proud.xo